I've been acting as a ride-a-long on the local ambulance and I have learned to appreciate what these EMTs sacrifice to help others in the area. It can take up a lot of time, but has been very rewarding. My wife and I have always dreamed of owning a charity and serving others in foreign lands, but we are still a few years away from being able to really take off and do those things, but I've realized that running with the ambulance is serving people too (EMS is all completely volunteer in our county) so this is like my interim charity work.
This week though I lost my first patient and it has been a little tough. She was college aged and worked for some friends of mine, although I'd never met her personally before meeting her on scene of her car accident. We called in a chopper and had her stabilized. Her injuries were internal so we weren't sure what all was wrong. But after being in the hospital for two days she had a brain herniation and they know she'll pass away.
I called my wife to tell her, because the news had made me sick to my stomach and I wanted someone to talk to. I asked her if she thinks that "I'll get used to this" and not be so affected with future similar cases, but then I started thinking "Do I want to get used to this?" On the one hand by separating myself will help me psychologically deal with things either, but on the other I don't think it is healthy to be so emotionally detached that things like these don't bother you. I guess only time will tell. I am comforted though to know that "it was her time to go" and "God is in control."
